Near the beginning of my career, I met a man who had years of experience in the line of work I wanted to follow. He shared insights that encouraged me, including some gained from mistakes he’d made along the way. What impressed me was that instead of blaming himself or others for the mistakes, he often used the phrase, “That was when I learned …”
Rather than dwelling on the mistakes, he saw each as an opportunity to grow from the experience. What he learned, and what I continue to learn, is that forgiving mistakes I or others have made is more than a human activity. It comes from persistently striving to see the good that is everyone’s true nature as a child of God, and it enables us to move forward and to be more useful and happy than we would be if we wallowed in blame.
One learning time for me came when a disagreement with someone I worked with flared into anger. I knew I had not handled the situation well, and after we parted I reached out to God for help. At first it was hard to stop mulling over the incident. But as I was learning, prayer turns us to something higher than ourselves and our own efforts to fix things.
As much as faults feel personal, I’m learning from the study of Christian Science that wrongdoing is impersonal – not part of anyone’s true nature. Why? Because each individual is originally and truly the “very good” image and likeness of God as described in the Bible (see Genesis 1:26, 31). Wrongdoing may result from ignorance of this fact, but ultimately, mistakes can impel everyone to go higher and to grow to the understanding of this true character. So I prayed that day to see both my colleague and myself as we truly are as God’s creation – expressions of divine intelligence and Love.
Soon after our falling out, my colleague and I were able to have a gracious and thoughtful exchange. As much as I regretted the blow-up, I have come to look back on it as a lesson to forgive others if we would be forgiven ourself, as Christ Jesus taught (see Matthew 6:12). As we ask God’s forgiveness for our mistakes, we have to forgive ourselves and others.
Uncovering error and working to correct it equips us to do any task better. Mary Baker Eddy, who founded The Christian Science Monitor, wrote, “To do good to all because we love all, and to use in God’s service the one talent that we all have, is our only means of adding to that talent and the best way to silence a deep discontent with our shortcomings” (“The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany,” p. 195).
One talent we all have is the ability to forgive. Rather than excusing wrong, forgiveness helps us grow from our mistakes, and in that humility, we allow others to do the same. In fact, forgiveness is key in settling conflicts on any scale, including between groups and nations. Blame obstructs learning and hinders progress. Recognizing everyone as God’s creation, we move beyond blame, learn from the mistakes, and are led to intelligent solutions.
Progress emerges from the conviction that goodwill and cooperation are natural to everyone because we are expressions of one intelligent God that is Love. Acknowledging this truth can turn mistakes into learning that brings peace to the world.
