My freshman year of college, I learned about some major world problems and was really disturbed by them. Feeling that I’d lost all hope, I suffered a mental breakdown and threatened to end my life.
Over the next few months, I transferred among several different hospitals and housing situations. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was prescribed various medications to treat the aggressive symptoms. Though I was sometimes required to take the pills, I resisted, because I didn’t like how they made me feel, and I only ended up taking them for a short period of time before stopping altogether.
I grew up attending Christian Science Sunday School, so I turned to Christian Science for help at various times during this period. On the several occasions when I called a Christian Science practitioner, they were very helpful. But I wasn’t always receptive.
Then I moved back home, and went back to my local Christian Science Sunday School. My teacher was shocked by the way I was acting – so unlike myself. He knew me well, and he refused to believe that the Andy he remembered could exhibit this disturbing behavior.
I’m convinced that his commitment to seeing me as I really am – seeing my true, spiritual nature and character – accelerated my progress. By the next Sunday, I was calmer and more receptive to spiritual ideas. This was a turning point.
One idea that kept coming to thought during this time was something Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer of Christian Science, said: “If you wish to be happy, argue with yourself on the side of happiness; take the side you wish to carry, and be careful not to talk on both sides, or to argue stronger for sorrow than for joy” (“Christian Healing,” p. 10).
Sadness seemed so appealing at the time because it allowed me to be a victim and blame the world for my problems. I realized, though, that I did want to be happy, and that I needed to actively argue for – spiritually stand up for – my own happiness.
God, who is all good, made each of us in His image (see Genesis 1:27). Joy isn’t a temporary emotion; it’s a quality that permanently belongs to us as God’s spiritual reflection.
The more I thought about this, the more light I could see through the darkness. I realized that I wanted to go back to school, be with my friends, and finish my degree – and I knew that was possible.
The improvement didn’t happen overnight, but by the end of the summer I was completely free from the symptoms, and I have been ever since – over a decade now. I was admitted back to my college and was even able to graduate with my class.
“Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures” by Mrs. Eddy explains, “It is ignorance and false belief, based on a material sense of things, which hide spiritual beauty and goodness. Understanding this, Paul said: ‘Neither death, nor life, … nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God.’ This is the doctrine of Christian Science: that divine Love cannot be deprived of its manifestation, or object; that joy cannot be turned into sorrow, for sorrow is not the master of joy; that good can never produce evil; that matter can never produce mind nor life result in death” (p. 304).
Sorrow is not more powerful than joy, and nothing can separate anyone from God’s love. If we find ourselves feeling sad or overwhelmed by events in the world, we can remember that God is permanent and infinite good. So the spiritual reality of things – the goodness of God’s creation – is always present. We can see it by turning to God in prayer.
Adapted from an article published in the Christian Science Sentinel’s online TeenConnect section, Jan. 16, 2024.
